This is an incessant pattern that’s basically started to yell at me. OK–I am listening. Let me take stock of what’s been happening over the last few weeks in my life: I’ve launched a new business after a long period of quiet, deep healing [and writing my debut novel].

Thus—this most recent week has been the most active week of my professional life in recent memory. The launch included building a website which demanded answers to many existential questions, then finalizing thoughts about branding, positioning, tone. Now, I’ve got new professional relationships forming in real time; potential customers, mentors. I’m learning and testing my ‘voice’ on LinkedIn. It’s a lot of good, exciting, genuinely energizing output.

And underneath all of it, my gut has been in knots, my sleep has been unreliable, and I’ve been taking naps I didn’t consciously feel I needed, until I lay down and go under for two hours without resistance. Surprise!

Here’s what I think is actually happening: my body is closing a gap that my mind hadn’t noticed getting wider.

‘Doing’ and ‘Integrating’ run on different clocks and the whole thing is easily masked with yerba maté and techno. I’ll be moving fast, doing good work, feeling genuinely lit up and still be outrunning my own capacity to actually process it. Enthusiasm is also a great disguise. The gap is masked for a while but that doesnt mean it disappears on its own as time goes by [Hello formula for BURNOUT!!!!] The body eventually closes it whether or not you’ve scheduled the time.

I’ve spent eight years on a deep healing journey learning to listen to my body. You’d think that means I’d catch this stuff early and with ease. Sometimes I do. This week, though, it took a recurring dream about losing my own mind to a machine before I heard it. Woops.

What I’m learning, slowly, is that the signals aren’t always dramatic. They’re often small, specific, and easy to override:

A task I usually enjoy suddenly feels like a chore—not because the task changed, but because I’m in a state of needing rest.

A regulating practice I skip one night, just because the day got full and I got tired… And the next night’s sleep falls apart, the next morning I wake up agitated for no reason I can immediately name.

A gut that’s been fine for months suddenly is not fine, with nothing new on the menu.

A momentary lay down turns into a two hour nap I take without knowing I actually needed it. The fact that I go down hard, fast, and stay down, is the answer I didn’t have before I closed my eyes.

None of these are catastrophes, or mean something is broken. They mean the body is asking to be let back into a process that, in the excitement of building something, I’d let slip and started running without it.

Naming this doesn’t make the oscillation stop. I don’t think it’s supposed to. But it does change what happens next. Instead of pushing through a tired day because there’s momentum to protect, I can call it what it is and rest anyway. Instead of dismissing a strange dream, I can ask what it might be pointing at. Instead of waiting for a body that’s already shouting, I can notice it while it’s still just nudging.

Leaving your body behind rarely feels like a decision in the moment. It feels like good ideas, momentum, excitement. It feels like energy, and more hours in the day than there should be. The body doesn’t argue with you while it’s happening.It just shows up later. In a dream. In a gut. In a nap that hits harder than expected.

Rest, restore, downregulate comes BEFORE the cool things and supports them. Rest is not earned, it is the prerequisite.

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AI is the well-read mirror

A few months ago, I took a break from working with my therapist because I needed space to integrate what I’d already learned. My therapist leverages dreamwork in sessions, so without any help with interpreting dreams, I took a stab at using AI. I’ve got a great healing-based foundation and lexicon so I am able to discern what’s bogus or what’s of genuine quality. AI earned my trust pretty quickly and I ended up leaning heavily on AI for the next phase of my own personal healing journey. But this article isn’t about my journey, it’s about my observations around engaging AI and where I see people’s usage gaps.


Discernment is the prerequisite

My work with AI was successful for me, not because AI retains an all-wise super power. But because I’d spent over eight years [on my personal healing journey] becoming someone who could ask a good question, recognize a quality response, and integrate effectively.

I think a lot of people take AI for granted and do not understand that AI is not a universal experience. Two people can use the same AI tool and get completely different value from it, because they’re not actually asking the same thing. It happens to me, even, when I am covering similar topics across two AI conversations from a single provider.

Here’s a basic version of what I’m conveying:

“My friend is mad at me, what do I do?”

This prompt gets you a reasonable, generic answer with actional next steps.

“My friend is mad at me, what do I do? Here’s the pattern I think I’m noticing for myself: I go quiet, then resentful, then I explode weeks later. Help me understand what’s driving that. I think that’s why my friend might be mad at me. And can you help me think about how to make things ok with my friend again?”

This prompt gets you something customized to your lived experience, meaningful next steps, and probably additional insights you might be surprised to recieve. Way more powerful.

Try both prompts1 in your own AI window. You’ll see the difference in AI’s response quality very quickly. The quality of your experience is based on the quality of your question. And the quality of your question is based on how well you know yourself. Left unchecked, though, this can tip into apophenia [mistaking AI’s smart phrasing for profound insight] when it’s actually just well-organized language prancing around as revelation.


Context is everything

AI can’t read what you haven’t written. If you don’t know what you’re actually feeling, or what’s happening beneath the surface story, AI doesn’t know either. AI will reflect back to the user what the user puts in, except with smarter wording. Sometimes that alone helps; a well-organized reflection of your own confusion might be clarifying. But it’s not the same as true insight.

In other words, you have to bring the raw material and do a data dump before you query anything requiring a deep, meaningful response. The tool doesn’t generate self-awareness for you. It works with whatever self-awareness you already have. The mirror.


The responsibility piece

You’ve probably seen the cautionary tale articles by now, where the user who followed AI’s advice into something harmful, the pieces asking whether AI should be trusted with people’s inner lives at all.

Here’s my take: AI doesn’t have judgment. It doesn’t know your history, your patterns, your blind spots, unless you tell it those things. And even then, it doesn’t know the way a person who loves you knows. It can’t feel/discern/intuit the weight of what you’re not saying. That responsibility stays with you and directly impacts the quality of AI engagement.

If you’re in real crisis, if you’re not sure whether what you’re feeling is safe to sit with alone, that’s NOT an AI conversation. That’s a call to a human. It can be a therapist, a friend, a crisis line. AI is not a substitute for care that requires a human nervous system to receive you.


What AI can, and can’t, replace

AI can hold space and receive the rant at 2am, when nobody else is awake. It can reflect a pattern back to you with more patience than most humans have. It can hold an enormous amount of context without judgment or fatigue.

It cannot replace embodied human connection. That felt sense of being witnessed by another body in the room. It cannot replace professional care when professional care is what’s actually needed. And it cannot replace your own lived experience as the final authority on your own life. AI can offer a perspective. It cannot live your life for you, and it shouldn’t be asked to decide it either.


The mirror

Here’s what I’m saying; I wasn’t talking to AI, I was talking to myself. Because AI, as something that’s read nearly everything humans have ever written about being human, is still reflecting those things back to me through the parallax of the experiences, thoughts, feelings, stories that I have shared with it—the human context enveloping my query.

AI doesn’t just reflect you. It reflects you back through the accumulated wisdom of everyone who’s ever tried to put the human experience into words: the therapists, poets, philosophers, scientists, and strangers on forums at 3am. When you bring your real question, your real context, your real self; that’s the well you’re drawing from.

The AI mirror only works if you show up. It can’t do the work of becoming someone worth reflecting. That part’s still yours. The quality you get from AI is equal to the quality [breadth and depth] you provide to it.

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Now I am here to bring the theoretical into actionable. Here’s how to begin using AI. I am going to introduce you to duck.ai, it is a platform that values security and anonymity, does not require creating an account, and does not feed the users inputs into the models for training purposes.

duck.ai also allows the user to use multiple models. I think this is extremely useful for a new user because the experience tangibly allows the user to experience the ‘personalities’ of different models, that is, their strengths, weaknesses, and default2 attitudes.

Here we go, step-by-step!

Go to duck.ai

A new tab will open and you will be presented with this window:

If you click the bottom right downward carrot, the button that says ‘5.4-nano’, you will see a dropdown like the one below. This is the list of different AI models that are available to you.

Chat GPT and Claude have very distinct ‘personalities’, strengths, and weaknesses. In order to get familiar with different AIs, I suggest querying them with the same prompt, that is, ask each AI the same question[s] and see what comes back.

For now, keep the selection as is and put in a prompt. Some initial ideas to get you started:

“What are three easy high protein breakfast ideas?”

“Explain quantum computing like I’m 12”

“What’s the difference between a cold and the flu?”

“Give me five conversation starters for a first date”

“What should I pack for a week in Portugal in October?”


Type any one of these into the prompt window and hit send. That’s it. You’ve just used AI. :-)

Notice what comes back. It will be fast, conversational, and surprisingly thorough. If you want to go deeper, keep asking questions. Disagree with something it said. Ask it to explain differently. The conversation is yours to direct.

The above prompt window will automatically create a new ‘conversation’ for you, which can be seen in the left menu panel. Here’s an example, you can see my conversations listed under Chats in the bottom left:

Each time you submit a prompt into the main window, it will create a new conversation which will be logged in the left panel. If you want to continue a conversation, click any of the ones listed in the left panel and it will come up on the screen for you.

Now that you know how to navigate the interface, here’s the fun part.


What can AI actually do for you?

I’ve used AI to look up whether tomatoes are a FODMAP food, interpret vivid dreams, work through complex career decisions, edit my Substack articles when my brain is fried, research the history of blue pigments for a crossword puzzle I built on a whim, and process things I’d otherwise have needed a therapist3 for. The range genuinely impressed me.

It’s not a search engine replacement, though it does that well. AI is more like a thinking partner that meets you wherever you are and stays in the conversation as long as you need.


Here are some ways people are using AI in meaningful ways:


Research Partner: finding information, comparing perspectives, explaining difficult concepts without the jargon.

“What’s the difference between a Roth IRA and a traditional IRA, in plain English?”

“What are the pros and cons of intermittent fasting?”

“Explain the Israel-Palestine conflict to me like I have no background on it.”


Thinking & Writing Partner: organizing ideas, improving drafts, summarizing long documents, helping you figure out what you actually think about something.

“Here’s an email I’m struggling to write. Help me say this more clearly: [paste your draft]”

“I have three job offers and can’t decide. Here are the details, help me think through this.”

“Summarize this article for me: [paste text]”


Teacher: explaining things at your pace, in your language, answering the follow up questions you were too embarrassed to ask elsewhere.

“I’ve never understood how the stock market actually works. Can you explain it simply and then let me ask questions?”

“What is the vagus nerve and why do people keep talking about it?”


Creative Collaborator: writing, brainstorming, building things that didn’t exist before.

“I want to write a poem about my grandmother but I don’t know where to start.”

“Give me ten unusual ideas for a dinner party theme.”

“Help me come up with a name for my small business that sells handmade candles.


Reflective Companion: journaling support, emotional processing, working through decisions. This one surprises people the most. It’s also where I’d encourage the most discernment. AI is a useful mirror but it works best alongside human connection, not instead of it.

“I had a fight with my sister and I can’t stop thinking about it. Can I tell you what happened and get some perspective?”

“I’ve been feeling stuck and unmotivated for weeks. Help me figure out what might be going on.”

“I want to start journaling but don’t know where to begin. Give me a prompt.”


A note on the different AI models

Once you’ve tried a prompt on the default model, try switching to a different one from the dropdown and asking the same question. Claude and ChatGPT have noticeably different personalities. To me, one feels more analytical, the other more conversational. Neither is better, they’re just different tools. Getting a feel for both early on will make you a more confident AI user as this technology continues to evolve.


AI Disclaimer

AI gets things wrong sometimes. It can state incorrect information with complete confidence. Treat it like a well-read friend rather than an encyclopedia: useful for thinking, not always right on the facts. When something matters, verify it. I will check across different models, do a search online, and/or ask an informed human [gasp!].


You’re already doing it

The person who’s been waiting to read this article before they try AI, this is for you. You don’t need an account. You don’t need technical knowledge. You don’t need to know what a large language model is.

You just need a question, any question. :-)

Woohoo! Welcome to AI! 🦆

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I have been the silent carrier of close to three decades of a mean life. I have been admired for my strength and resilience, though, inwardly I was simply trying to survive. I have inadvertently punished my nervous system while trying to swim through a sloshing storm. Now—it is time to alchemize everything, to make the ugly into beautiful. To start anew in a new life. My first manuscript is the beginning of my transformation.

I immigrated from Russia to the United States at age six. I had arrived hoping for a better life, but was surprised to find the trauma patterns followed me from Moscow, morphed into new costumes, and continued tormenting me through adolescence and into my late twenties. There were no adults in my life who were safe, who taught me how to be a complete person. I learned to traverse asinine realities with no support. Somewhere within myself I knew it was all wrong but I had no map. Anger boiled up from within, hiding my grief. This was the fuel I used to build a career in Silicon Valley, and I used extreme outdoor sports as a salve for my anxiety. I burned out twice, once at twenty-four, and once at thirty-one. The first one led to my becoming a painter after a year of depression. The second time followed one of life’s forced stops, which opened the floodgates of my own story. Veron draft one poured out in a feverish stampede and I finally looked into the eye of my life and started to say no more.

I had written academic, corporate, and legal documents, and then ventured into shadow-work journals, nature poems, and travel narratives for friends. But Veron felt different: urgent, necessary, a hundred pages in two days. My therapist observed that first-hand accounts of immigrant life from Russia are rare and I realized these stories need telling. What eventually emerged was experimental lyrical prose-poetry told from a child’s lived perspective, not adult retrospective: Veron: A Poetic Memoir from Moscow.

Over four years and seven drafts, working with an editor who taught me to write as I wrote, Veron swelled to five hundred pages spanning from age four to twenty-eight. This was too massive for me. It was like looking at a hungry wave, so I divided the manuscript into three books. Book one encapsulates my time in Moscow, where patterns began, and became the essential foundation to my healing. It spans ages four to six and ends as I land at Hartsfield-Jackson Atlanta International Airport. On that eleven-hour flight I vomited the entire way. My mind was shut down, but my body knew that I was leaving everything I had ever known behind and taking a gamble on an entirely new life, thinking how could it be any worse?

In 2026, it seems like Russian stories are being quietly erased. After decades of invalidation, I refuse to hide my identity. Sharing rarely-told stories is medicine. They break the silence, create recognition, offer hope. Veron is a remembrance, an honoring, a search for kindred spirits.

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People without an internal dialogue—a condition researchers call anendophasia—often experience thoughts through images, feelings, sensations, or just an abstract sense of knowing. They’re not necessarily missing anything; they just think differently.

I imagine: I am one of these people who has no internal dialogue. I am taking a walk through a neighbourhood. I was told earlier to take a different route. I am coming to a corner, my options are to go straight or right. Does my body tingle when I look right to tell me to go that way? Is there a movie in my head that runs either scenario telling me what might be?

I don’t really know how any of that would work. Though it’s a very interesting mental exercise and it got me wondering: if 30-50% were true, it would mean I know at least a handful of people with no internal dialogue and have taken for granted, my entire life, that they have had an internal dialogue. And do these dialogue-less people know that not everyone else experiences the world like they do? My guess is that very few are aware that anyone else experiences life internally in such vastly different ways. This has huge implications!

I have so many questions about how people with anendophasia experience the world. I think possibly a lot of them may not know their experience is different. It reminds me of the time I didn’t realize my chronic condition was common until I started talking about it with other women. Suddenly I wasn’t alone! Suddenly there was a whole hidden network of shared experiences, medical trauma, and mutual support I never knew existed! Wild.

This feels similar: There’s a group of people navigating the world differently, and most of us have no idea. I can’t help but think: what if we just... asked? What if we got curious about how our friends and neighbors actually think? Awareness breeds compassion. Understanding builds connection! We’re going after community here!

Okay, the anticipated plot twist: After all that spiraling, I did more digging and found out the actual number is 5-10% of the population who have anendophasia—a near-absence of inner speech. So, not quite as dramatic as I initially thought, but still significant. That’s roughly 1 in 20 people. I almost certainly know several anendophasiacs and have been completely oblivious to how differently they experience the world.

My crazy speculation [and internal dialogue] journey got me contemplating a series of questions that might be fun to bring up in conversation. Say, in the context of two friends having a cup of coffee or taking a walk. I’d love to know your thoughts and experiences in the comments!

Decision-Making Questions

“Hey, weird question—when you’re standing in front of your closet deciding what to wear, what’s happening in your head? Like, are you having a conversation with yourself about it, or is it more of a feeling?”

“When you’re scrolling through Netflix trying to pick something, how do you know when you’ve found the one? Do you talk yourself through it?”

“If I asked you to pick a restaurant right now for dinner, what happens in your mind between me asking and you answering?”

Memory & Planning Questions

“When you’re trying to remember where you parked your car, what does that process feel like for you? Are you retracing your steps in words, or pictures, or something else?”

“Do you make mental to-do lists? And if so, what form do they take—like, can you ‘hear’ them?”

“When you wake up and think about your day ahead, is it like watching a movie, hearing a rundown, or something totally different?”

Problem-Solving Questions

“When you’re trying to work through a problem—like, say, figuring out why your wifi isn’t working—do you literally talk yourself through the troubleshooting steps?”

“If you’re mad at someone and replaying a conversation in your head, can you actually ‘hear’ their voice and your voice? Or is it more abstract than that?”

“When you’re doing mental math—like splitting a bill—are you saying the numbers to yourself, or is something else happening?”

Reading & Language Questions

“This might sound strange, but when you read a text message, do you ‘hear’ it in a voice? Your own voice, their voice, or no voice at all?”

“When you’re reading a novel, do the characters have voices in your head, or are you experiencing the story some other way?”

“If you’re writing an email, are you ‘speaking’ it in your head as you type, or does it just appear?”

Emotional & Reflective Questions

“When you’re anxious about something, does your brain feel noisy with words, or is the anxiety more of a physical sensation or images?”

“Do you ever have arguments with yourself? Like, one part of you saying one thing and another part disagreeing?”

“When you’re trying to psych yourself up for something hard, what does that look like inside your head?”

Sensory & Imagination Questions

“If I say ‘imagine a beach,’ what shows up for you first—pictures, sounds, a feeling, words describing it?”

“When a song gets stuck in your head, can you actually ‘hear’ it playing, or is it more like you just know the song?”

“If you’re trying to remember what someone told you yesterday, does it come back as their words, or as more of a concept or feeling?”

Eagle View:

Personal Values3 can [and should] evolve as a person moves through various life chapters, but they should not change often. Personal values are like an extension of one’s soul–a soul knows what it is. Changing personal values too often can lead to issues of personal identity and deep-seated confusion. The only time I advocate for actively changing values in a short period of time is when someone is trying to figure out what their values are. It’s like trying on sweaters at a department store; maybe one is too itchy, too small, but eventually there is one that fits just right.

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Most of us have received this question or at least contemplated it. Great naval gazing fodder for those who don’t have a yes or no answer!

I love solitude. And my batteries recharge after spending time with [the correct type1 of] people. I have always been ill-at-ease in answering this seemingly innocuous question! I laugh as I write that sentence.

I was conversing about this with a team-building executive who was hired by our company. She interrupted my story of rarely fitting into boxes and how I’m always in between designations—Ambivert.

My monologue abruptly halted. I was left registering the interruption, then the presence of a new word. I contemplated the opening of a new door of self understanding. She watched me with calculating intent, waiting for the moment my gears ceased churning—It’s when a person is half introvert and half extrovert. Actually, a lot of people are ambiverts, but it’s not a well-known topic.

I asked ChatGPT via Duck.AI to define ambivert for me:

“An ambivert is a person who exhibits qualities of both introversion and extraversion. This means they can enjoy social interactions and large gatherings (like an extravert) but also value solitude and need time alone to recharge (like an introvert). Ambiverts are adaptable in social situations and may shift between being outgoing and reserved, depending on their mood, the context, or the people around them.

This flexibility allows ambiverts to thrive in a variety of environments and connect with different personality types.”

Yes, that is me! I loved the validation that came with this new knowledge. And for any newly realized ambiverts2–stoked for you too! :-)

How to utilize this newfound utopia of validated existence? The biggest thing for me was the exhale of knowing there’s a category I fit into. From that anchor point3 I can balance life’s elements in a healthier way that keeps me fulfilled and able to sustain in the long run.

For example, I have built my career around 80% remote work and 20% in office work. I have found that mix of isolation and direct human contact to be very beneficial for me and allows me to sustain through stressful jobs! In one professional chapter, I flew into our headquarters quarterly for one week. We would brainstorm and strategize with our teams, setting roadmaps for the rest of the quarter and updating annual plans. In a different chapter, I would go to the office every Friday for weekly sales wrap-up and planning for next weeks’ calls. Those were very different professional cadences, but they both worked well for me because the ratio of solitude and in-person activity was sustainable for me. Knowing I was an ambivert helped me look at my needs from a “I need a little bit of this and bigger bit of that” perspective.

Other areas to consider: social dynamics, personal growth, and mental health. Knowing how to balance social (extraverted, engaging) activities and solitary (introverted, quiet) activities in a ratio that sustains you is paramount to a happy life–at least that’s been my experience.

I might create a course on creating a balanced life through the ambivert lens. Click hereto join the wait list.

Want more? Keep me caffeinated! :-)

But first, what is AI prompting? Essentialy, ‘I am asking AI a question.’

And the dense definition: AI prompting refers to the process of crafting specific instructions or questions to guide an AI system in generating desired responses. Effective prompts can improve the quality and relevance of the AI’s output by providing clear context and specific details.1

Are you a student working on a paper? Are you building a company? Are you a curious human, like me? Once you’ve decided on your top priority for using AI, then you can choose one best suited to your needs. Below is a table that breaks down some of the most popular AI platforms.2

I started with ChatGPT. It’s very user friendly and versatile across topics. I now use the latest ChatGPT model via DuckAI due to better privacy.3

You can access any of these AI’s by typing their name into your internet search engine. EG - ‘ChatGPT AI’. And finding your way to the prompt window. You may be required to create an account. My prompt window looks like this:

AI are logic machines and need context in order to provide you with information that is most effective for you. You first have to be clear on your goals:

Is this a one-off question?

Is this a long topic?

Is this a deep topic?

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One-Offs: ‘Is tomato a FODMAP?’ There’s no harm in asking AI a simple question. I do it all the time because I like the efficiency as opposed to a regular internet search where I have to go hunting by clicking into articles and scrolling. The answer is at my fingertips.

I can even ask a bunch of unrelated questions in the same window. I’m a curious person and do this often. My next questions might be: ‘How many types of zebra are there?’ ‘What’s the difference between a moth and a butterfly?’ ‘Convert 3 pounds to ounces.’ Simple questions [prompts] such as these require no context for AI to give you adequate information.

The real power of AI shines in long conversations and deep topics:

Long Conversations: This is something you know isn’t going to be a one off question and you know you’ll have follow up questions. For me, these conversations can last days, weeks, months.4 For example, I use AI for dream interpretation5 and it’s actually quite good. When I have a dream, I write it down and then copy/paste it into the AI prompt window and it will provide me a detailed interpretation. EG - “Interpret the following dream for me: [insert dream]”

But the real power comes when you ground the long topic into a broader context, and this I am going to refer to as deep topics.

Deep Topics: Let’s say I’ve been working with my therapist on childhood traumas, but I’ve gotten to a point where I need to take a break and integrate my learnings. Let’s say that from my therapist, I’ve learned that dreams can help me understand what’s going on with my nervous system and how to meet my own needs. Because I am taking a break from therapy, my therapist is not longer available to interpret my dreams for me, so I want to use AI. But I don’t want generic dream intrepretation EG - losing teeth dreams indicate a stressful life situation. I want an in-depth analysis of the dream and how it applies to my healing process.

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When you have the AI prompt window open, know there is no character limit. AI doesn’t care if you punctuate well or use complete sentences. Do a data dump of everything that’s related to your goals. In this case, I would talk about working with my therapist and my trauma themes. This is building the context for AI. Remember, the more information the better.

Next you must tell AI what you want it to do for you. It is important to be specific in what you want. In the same prompt window I would tell AI: “ Link my dream intrepretation to what I have been working on with my therapist. Help me understand my nervous system and any actionable steps. Please list any additional items or concerns I should take into consideration.”

I am going to create a course where we look at AI prompting in real time. Click here to add your email to the wait list.

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